Friendly advice: You need to learn self-defense.

Because the future of law enforcement is here: more progressive DAs, fewer prosecutions and fewer police.

If you're on the wrong side of "the depth of emotion," you are on. Your. Own, pal.

Sure, Schmidt and those like him will probably prosecute your wrongthink fanny to the max when you dare to protect yourself, but at least your loved ones will be periodically able to see you through a plexiglass portal.

While far from ideal, it's better to be seen than viewed.

Schmidt said his office will presumptively decline to prosecute those whose most serious accusation doesn’t involve deliberate property damage, theft or the use or threat of force against someone else.

Charges that fall under that category include interfering with a peace officer, second-degree disorderly conduct and rioting, among others.

Those whose most serious accusation involves a city ordinance violation will also not be prosecuted.

“As prosecutors, we acknowledge the depth of emotion that motivates these demonstrations and support those who are civically engaged through peaceful protesting,” Schmidt, who recently took office, said in a statement. “We will undermine public safety, not promote it, if we do not take action to bring about immediate change.”

Prosecutors will scrutinize the cases of protesters accused of resisting arrest or assaulting a public safety officer and consider “the chaos of a protesting environment, especially after tear gas or other less-lethal munitions have been deployed against community members en masse,” the district attorney’s office said in a news release.

Protesters accused of crimes that caused only financial harm will be offered conditional dismissal after paying restitution or making other amends.

It's not all bad news, though. Schmidt showed that he has the mad skills of a true stand-up comic:

“The Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office is neither condoning nor endorsing the conduct that led to the arrest or citation of a person,” the office said. “A prosecution decline decision does not change Oregon law.”