Finally: the first-ever pulp zombie midrash on a New Testament passage.

Eric Pavlat has the details.

Very, very different. Some say sacrilegious, but I don't see it that way.

Then again, I'm odd.

Huzzahs!

No, this is not the beginning of a "walk in to a bar" joke:

Jewish and Muslim scholars protest English city's deletion of "Christmas" from city Christmas light display.

Executive Director of the from the Woolf Institute of Abrahamic Faiths, Dr Edward Kessler, who is Jewish, said: "'people of all faiths in this country should recognise that such developments are a curb on all our religious freedoms. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. If Christmas lights cannot be named as such how can the religious festivals celebrated by Muslims, Jews, Hindus and so on be openly celebrated? If restrictions are only imposed on Christian festivals (for the time being), the interfaith endeavour is threatened."

Prof. Kessler's Muslim counterpart is downright acidic:

Muslim colleague Dawud Bone, Stone Ashdown Director of the Centre for the Study of Muslim – Jewish Relations at the Woolf Institute said: "To call this political correctness would be to flatter those who have arrived at this policy. I am unaware of any academic research that suggests anyone of any faith is offended by Christmas lights. They are therefore responding to a problem that almost certainly does not exist and in doing so they are creating a greater problem. I believe actions such as this can only damage community cohesion and reduce the respect individuals have for each other's faiths."

A hat-tip and thanks to you both!

[H/t to the incomparable Mark Steyn.]

Brief thoughts on Judge Sotomayor.

My legal analyst is Feddie Dillard, and when he talks, I listen.

Take a listen here.

I'll only add that there's a critical difference between picking your fights and picking a fight. By all measures, the judge is qualified, is replacing a fairly reliable liberal vote and is the best possible candidate under the circumstances. Add to this a decent record on religious liberty issues.

Oh, and her "infamous" quote appears to be lacking crucial context.

So, in other words, fighting Judge Sotomayor is fighting the wrong nominee, in the wrong place, and at the wrong time.

Other than that, fix bayonets and charge, lads.

Sometimes a water tower is just a water tower.

Then again, there's Ypsilanti:

No sniggering.

Thanks to Zach for the reminder, as we are informed that "the fullness of the faith" resides in the American Episcopal church.

It's kinda cute, really--like watching a snail having a hissy fit and proclaiming itself "king of the jungle."

Jeff has a good point.

The FLDS mothers and children are being punished for the sins of the fathers.

And the Texas foster care system is in dire need of overhaul.

America's "Cold Civil War."

I think Mark Steyn is on to something very important in this piece.

A year before this next election in the U.S., the common space required for civil debate and civilized disagreement has shrivelled to a very thin sliver of ground. Politics requires a minimum of shared assumptions. To compete you have to be playing the same game: you can't thwack the ball back and forth if one of you thinks he's playing baseball and the other fellow thinks he's playing badminton. Likewise, if you want to discuss the best way forward in the war on terror, you can't do that if the guy you're talking to doesn't believe there is a war on terror, only a racket cooked up by the Bushitler and the rest of the Halliburton stooges as a pretext to tear up the constitution.

Now it would be unfair to point fingers only at the loony left here. It wasn't so long ago that conspiracy theories involving Bill Clinton were all the rage, with some whack-jobs claiming that the Murrah Building was Bill-deberger's "Reichstag Fire," to name but one in the litany of his alleged crimes (which, if true, would have left him with precious little time for the ladies). The problem is that the fever wasn't cured, it simply shifted to the left temple, with the Semtex Fairy getting a promotion from OKC to NYC.

But that's nothing to celebrate. I have every confidence that anti-Clinton paranoia will return in full flower should Hillary! get elected. Bank on it.

The question Steyn never quite gets around to asking is "Why?"

I have a partial answer: for the more secular-minded, politics is now invested with the religious fervor that used to go into religion. Politics has become a self-contained system of belief, with its own creed, liturgy, calendar of saints and diabolical enemies with sinister plans. And, as a religion, it is not one of Unitarian stolidity. It is a fighting, evangelistic faith. Check the latest Ann Coulter or Paul Krugman books and you'll see what I mean. Kill all--God will know his own.

I'm not exactly immune to this, but anymore I only get really revved up when there's some Catholic intersection with politics. I dislike Mrs. Clinton, but she doesn't bother me like John Kerry did. Or Rudy Giuliani does.

I even have a preferred candidate for President (McCain), but you didn't know that until just now. If he doesn't pull it off, I'm not going to require a mental health day. I don't have that much invested in him. I try to reserve that commitment for my faith. Frankly, I think that trying to approach politics and religion with anything like the same fervor invariably damages the latter. And for those who don't have much of a commitment to the latter, the former becomes unbalanced.

Unfortunately, I think the problem is going to get much worse before it begins to get better.

Something tells me the CCD program she attended during her genuinely-Catholic days had ample supplies of glitter and markers.

Carl Olson finds a Newsweek interview of another person who asserts she's a Catholic priest(ess).

Jessica Rowley strikes me as a very pleasant person with a genuine thirst for aspects of holiness. She is a lot happier than the cohort of lemon-eating sisters striking a blow against patriarchy, kyriarchy and good sense. Moreover, she--unlike those determined to call themselves Catholic--admits that she is no longer a member of the Church.

So, a tall finger of fellowship to Newsweek for the title. Then again

A woman who left Catholicism is ordained to serve an offshoot church that claims it has a Catholic priesthood. Not surprisingly, the Catholic hierarchy does not have a lot to say about it because the episcopate can't comment on every Catholic who leaves the Church, but obviously cannot approve

doesn't fit the printing template very well. In fact, such a story doesn't get published.

However, like the unpleasantly-ordained who still call themselves communing Catholics, she privileges the zeitgeist and displays a feather-soft spirituality. For example: you will search in vain for references to discipleship in the interview.

Once again, it's the Church of the Perpetual Hello and Welcome. And they're bleeding to death everywhere you find them, regardless of the title they currently have on the sign out front.

I hope the ECC enjoys its instant of fame. I wouldn't care to bet on the odds of the communion making it to 2040.

Hey! Get some beer... . And some cleaning products.

OK, I couldn't pass on this one--Chris Johnson lighting up the foggy, plaintive demideity of The Episcopal Church.

There's that dreaming god of hers again. I think I know why so many people leave the Episcopal Church for Rome, Constantinople or Geneva and it has nothing to do with doctrine. It has to do with the fact that in those three traditions, God actually does something once in a while. Kate's stoner deity just sits around all day, gets baked, listens to Pink Floyd and wishes that somebody somewhere would do something about all the problems of the world. And bring him some Doritos.

RTWT.

And bonus points for whoever identifies the film from which the post title is taken.

Cutest dodge of the year.

Courtesy of the Michigan franchise of the ACLU.

The ACLU says that the use of student fees at a public university to build facilities for use by adherents of one religion is just okey-dokey fine.

Specifically, the University of Michigan is spending student fee money to build Muslim footbaths.

The Detroit ACLU branch is down with that, and their reasoning wins them the right to trademark the term "casuistry," free and clear for the next fifty years:

The Detroit chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union isn't getting involved, arguing the foot baths are secular since non-Muslims could use them, said spokeswoman Rana Elmir.

They don't make hip-waders strong enough to withstand BS like that.

Thought experiment: imagine using student fees to install holy water fonts outside the "reflection room" at the University. After all, anybody could dip their fingers into one. I suspect you could count on the Detroit chapter being all over that idea like a terrier on a hambone.

Christopher Hitchens.

The legendary English barrister F.E. Smith (later Lord Birkenhead) was a dear friend of Winston Churchill until Smith's death in 1930. (Smith was also the master of the devastating courtroom put-down, deployed as often against judges as against the opposing party).

Smith clearly saw the oft-scattershot judgment of his impetuous friend, and remarked:

"When Winston is right, he's absolutely right. When he's wrong...well, my God."

I think that judgment applies to Mr. Hitchens as well. Here's one for the "absolutely right" file, as he destroys Chris Hedges in a religious debate. Look for Hedges' no mas moment at the end.

Life among the Chatterati.

Rod Dreher gets a glimpse into the parody-proofed spirituality of the bi-coastal elite.

In the Augean stables.

An example of fun and frolic in Amazonia, if you are interested.

Less for his benefit than for those who might drop by. This is the age of Dan Brown catechesis, after all.

In TEC World, he's miter material.

Former NJ governor Jim "Gay American" McGreevey is entering an Episcopal seminary.

More about this princely chap here.

How long do I have to keep pretending these people are Christians?

I think I'll stop now.

Some members of The Anti-Church are pissed that other people haven't yet pulled a D & E on their own conscience. Solution: Agree with us or else.

Here's a better idea: Why don't you use some of that Piskie trust fund money you pricks have cascading out of your pockets and build all the human chop shops you want? Sell some of those old properties and commission some crop dusters to drop morning-after pills, or re-fit ice-cream trucks to pass out diaphragms and condoms--playing "Somebody To Love" or similar songs from the era where your taste and good sense ossified. The possibilities are endless, really. And it shows a lot more integrity (that whole "money where your mouth is" thing) than battering someone else into accepting your worldview.

Then again, "integrity" and "progressive Episcopalian" are rarely seen in each other's company these days.

Don't let the crew-cut and pinched, hectoring expression fool you: Kate Ragsdale is a hideously unpleasant being. I'd say "abortion whore," but that's not fair to practitioners of the world's oldest profession.

An acolyte of Elizabeth Bathory is more like it.

"Clarity."

For those religion junkies who actually paid attention to The Episcopal Church's General Convention this year, that was the watchword of Christian Anglicans: they wanted clarity about the direction of TEC. They certainly received that in bushels, culminating in the election of Katherine Jefferts Schori as Presiding Bishop of that particular communion. Starting with her invocation of "Mother Jesus" [God help me, it reminds me of Clerks], and continuing with her denial of Christ as universal savior, she has been a cornucopia of leftist platitudes, confused pseudo-Christian theology and overall gaffes that only someone with a heart of granite could fail to enjoy.

As an example of the last, consider her pelted-with-cottonballs interview with the NY Times wherein we Catholics receive plenty of clarity concerning the new PB's ecumenical bent:

How many members of the Episcopal Church are there in this country?

About 2.2 million. It used to be larger percentagewise, but Episcopalians tend to be better-educated and tend to reproduce at lower rates than some other denominations. Roman Catholics and Mormons both have theological reasons for producing lots of children.

Episcopalians aren’t interested in replenishing their ranks by having children?

No. It’s probably the opposite. We encourage people to pay attention to the stewardship of the earth and not use more than their portion.

You’re actually Catholic by birth; your parents joined the Episcopal Church when you were 9. What led them to convert?

It was before Vatican II had any influence in local parishes, and I think my parents were looking for a place where wrestling with questions was encouraged rather than discouraged.

Have you met Pope Benedict?

I have not. I think it would be really interesting.

Hoo, boy. All the Catlick stereotypes wrapped up and served with PC panache by one who worships at the Altar of Tolerance--Or Else™. Yep, we're unthinking breeders waiting for our latest orders via the Pope Signal.

And as to that wrestling with questions thing, I wonder how long someone still questioning women's ordination would last at one of the Rt. Rev. Schori's parishes.

Anyway--have you seen pictures of my bad stewardship of earth's resources lately?


[Thanks to Amy and Chris Johnson for the link. Chris also shows us the ideal response--asking the Rt. Rev. to help us benighted papists the only way we know how--in crayon.]

Telebrands Presents: How to Speak Truth to Power--At Absolutely No Risk to You!

In his neck of the woods, Carl Olson finds some cheeky Rebels striking a blow against the Theocrat Empire.

I hereby offer my finest golf clap for the transgressive courage of the sophomores at The Insurgent [sic].

Because, as we all know, it takes cast iron cojones to challenge Christian beliefs in America. Remember the fate of Matt Stone and Trey Parker for their depiction of Jesus in the Muhammad cartoon episodes. I mean, you are risking almost certain applause.

Somewhere in the dark recesses of the Vatican, Benedict XVI is formulating a fatwa against the Oregon onanists even as we speak ('ware the albino). And once he activates The Pope Signal, the mind-gelded laity will be dispatched to do their best to liquidate the blasphemers. In anticipation, I'm readying my explosive belt for my trip to Duckland (at the moment, I am waiting for the first coat of rat poison on the nails to dry--don't you just hate that?).

I'm also glad to see that the bold essays are larded with F-bombs. An Authentic Undergrad Leftist Jeremiad™ composed by a scraggly-bearded guy who reeks of patchouli and won't declare his major until his fifth year demands no less.

The good news is that I think Word has a template for it now.

Thanks for letting me borrow the Sponger for a while.

Oh, the questions:

Can a life of preening self-regard, gossipy self-aggrandizement, and laughable pseudoscholarship be made into a drama that isn't "Boy Meets Tractor" agitprop?

Can a spiteful fundamentalist who has traded in one intellectually void worldview for another be a sympathetic dramatic protagonist?

Why not a musical: SpongRock!

More importantly: Can a play close during the first intermission?

We will soon find out. Perhaps the strangest thing is that it's not a one-man play:

At 74, Spong, the retired bishop of Newark, N.J., continues to rile many Christians with his denial of the virgin birth, the bodily resurrection of Jesus and a God who works miracles and exacts punishment. His critics call him a heretic.

Others, however, say that Spong's defense of ethnic minorities, women and gays as well as his skeptical take on Scripture as the literal word of God bring relevance, rationality and hope.

Now Spong's lifelong quest to wrest himself from what he has called his fundamentalist evangelical North Carolina upbringing to understanding God in a radically different way is the subject of a sympathetic new drama, "A Pebble In My Shoe."The bishop plans to be at Sunday's 5:15 p.m. premiere at the Los Angeles Theater Center, 514 S. Spring St. After the 90-minute performance, Spong will be honored at a reception. He also will sign his latest book, "The Sins of Scripture." Other performances are scheduled for Oct. 15,16, 22 and 23.

Written and directed by Cox, the play is based on Spong's 1999 autobiography, "Here I Stand: My Struggle for a Christianity of Integrity, Love and Equality." It features actor Stephan Wolfert as the bishop.

Maybe Mr. Wolfert will be able to parlay this stepping stone into a role of true artistic integrity.

Like, say, portraying a satisfied client of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe in a commercial that runs during the middle of Montel.

[Update: My beloved child-bride, who has seen the movie more times than theoretical mathematics can count, gently corrected me, resulting in the change of the post title. She also has a great story about the time she nearly made Molly Ringwald cry in Paris (and still feels awful about it, if you're reading this, Ms. Ringwald), but I'll let her tell it.]

Progressive Anglicans: "Is it cold in here?"

B-16 has a stiff arm technique worthy of Gale Sayers:

Thus, it was significant that Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams attended the inaugural mass for Benedict XVI, becoming only the second occupant of the throne in Canterbury to witness such a rite since the Reformation. Afterwards, the former Oxford don greeted the pope in German and presented him with a pectoral cross.

Ah, yes, but journalists and photographers paid close attention to the precise details of this rite of reception.

"Symbolism is everything," opined David Virtue, a conservative Anglican whose Internet reports circle the globe. "When the new pope met with the patriarchs from the Orthodox churches there were public embraces and kisses, but when Benedict XVI met Williams there was only a handshake. ... Williams edged forward perhaps hoping for a papal embrace but it was not forthcoming."

Keep this in mind whenever you hear of the Pope's willingness to engage in ecumenical dialogue. It will not be of the variety that only doffs the "Kick Me!" placard when he gets in the dunk tank.

Mr. Hand...turning...into Mr.....Fist....

Bill Cork unearthed this bit of yawping about the new Pope from Fr. John Pawlikowski:

Consequently [in the wake of the issuance of Dominus Iesus--which is Latin for "The Lord Jesus," not "The Dominion of Jesus," as the article mistakenly claims], Rev. John T. Pawlikowski, president of the International Council of Christians and Jews, called on Ratzinger and the Vatican to clarify whether it believed Jews could attain salvation through Judaism, and whether the Church has completely abandoned its doctrine of proselytizing to Jews.

"We still have among major Church leaders... strong assertions that all salvation has to be said as coming through Christ," Pawlikowski said, adding, "I don't think we can make the affirmation 'There is no mission to the Jews,' unless we really confront some of these realities head on — otherwise our Jewish friends will hear almost conflicting messages."

"'All are welcome,'" meet 'Door Not Hitting A**'. 'A**', meet 'All.'"

This is precisely the problem that has to be remedied, pronto. As Bill correctly notes, Fr. Pawlikowski is a universalist. He does not believe that Jesus is, in fact, Lord. He has no business attempting to present "the Catholic position" in ecumenical/interfaith dialogue because it is clear he has utter contempt for that position. Instead, he prefers to offer up his own theological freelancing. Not only is he doing a disservice to the Church he draws a paycheck from, he is doing a disservice to the non-Catholics he speaks to. He needs to be fired. Now.

I don't suggest holding your breath, though.

It is precisely this sort of mixed messaging--the eagerness of Catholics in positions of authority to substitute their own views for official teaching that lies at the heart of the mess we are in today. It's not always this obvious. Often it's more subtle--an accurate presentation of authoritative statements followed up by a description of them as "the opinion of the Magisterium," or "But other scholars say..." And, yes, I know--it's not an exclusive flaw of progressives--conservatives can do the same, subtly shelving pretty clear teaching on the death penalty, just war and economic issues with sludgy rhetoric. Yes, yes--I know--not all of the settled issues are on the same moral plane or involve the same calculations. But the rhetoric is still suspiciously familiar, not to mention convenient.

Either way, this is the problem that has to be addressed, and soon. And it doesn't matter how many toes get stepped on or egos get bruised in the process. We can't have the Fr. Pawlikowskis of the world constantly rewriting the weather bulletins about hurricane warnings just because they find the forecasts to be "too negative."

From the Jesus Never Said Anything About Consensual Dwarf Tossing, Either File.

The Anglican Church of Canada prepares to spread the Gospel According to John (Thomas) a little further:

[T]here is also a report before the Synod that recommends changing the rules on consaguinuity (who can and cannot marry based on degree of relationship).

The change would mean that men could marry their niece, aunt, stepmother, stepdaughter, daughter-in-law, grandfather's wife, wife's grandmother, wife's granddaughter, or grandson's wife. Women could marry their nephew, uncle, stepfather, stepson, son-in-law, grandmother's husband, husband's grandfather, husband's grandson, or granddaughter's husband.

Those of you old enough to remember the Beastie Boys' first tour may recall that one of their stage props was a two-story inflatable penis that was, er.....deployed in all its turgidity during the show. Might I offer a suggestion for a new symbol for North American Anglicanism...?