Insane hysteria: there's no other way to describe it.

In my years as a plaintiff-side employment attorney, I have seen nooses in workplaces and racially-threatening messages that invoked nooses. Enragingly, I have to report that this phenomenon isn't as uncommon as it should be. People who put nooses out to intimidate their co-workers deserve to pay through the nose as they are booted out the door.

However, this case is not that.

In Oakland, an African-American fitness enthusiast named Victor Sengbe donated and with the help of friends installed the functional equivalent of TRX ropes in a public park. Here he is, describing what he did.

And here is an April picture taken by a local right around the time Sengbe put them up.

And here's more photographic evidence, including a not-very-clear picture of one that prompted the complaint. But remember--ALL the ropes were taken down. So.

Despite my considerable bulk, I have been working out more over the past few years. I can now ride a bike with my children, move furniture with cape-wearing confidence and generally don't sweat when I eat. In fact, I worked out yesterday--via Zoom cast from my still-closed-by-edict-studio. And I even did the exercise from hell--burpees. And body weight squats. And lunges. And planks.

They're all fun, really. 

 

At the studio, there are and I have used TRX ropes. They allow you to do "body weight" exercises such as push-ups, curls, etc.--the variety of self-inflicted pain is limited only by the imagination.

Anyway, Mr. Sengbe's donations were up and appreciated by many parkgoers for weeks. And it's clear kids had fun with them--which was one of the intended uses.
 
He's now being investigated for a "hate crime."

Because some hysterics hallucinated that they were nooses.

THEY. 
ARE. 
NOT. 
NOOSES. 

Repeat as neccessary until that essential dispositive fact gets lodged into your head.

As if the donor's testimony wasn't enough, Associated Press' tortured verbiage describing the ropes confirms it. [Not to mention the lack of pictures of the ropes in ANY report which would confirm the ridiculousness of the complaint.] Despite the wire service's best effort to humor our nation's growing population of hysterics, nooses don't have hand-grips at the bottom.

That should have been enough to put this to bed.

Enter White Woman Ally™ Mayor Libby Schaaf.

No, it doesn't matter what they actually are. What they were imagined to be by a handful is what counts. Libby has their imaginative backs, so of course there is a hate crime investigation underway.

If you see thumping white paternalism here, in the form of a Woke Mayor all too happy to keep her voters infantilized and terrified--congrats. You have a mastery of the obvious.

In the meantime, a black fitness enthusiast has seen his kind gift to the community perverted by overheated lunatics into a symbol of hatred. And removed.

And you can probably imagine the hate torrent he's enjoying from the forces of Progress.

To conclude, I have long thought we still have a problem with racism in this country--because we do. I have seen an incident involving an actual, indisputable workplace noose quite recently.

But now, I think one of our growing problems with racism comes from White Savior Allies--especially white women--bigfooting everything, stoking fear and generally making things worse.

If Mayors Libby Schaaf and Jenny "This Is Fine" Durkan aren't enough for you, how about our celebrities "taking responsibility" [sic] and now Phoebe Bridgers coming to the rescue?

Parting thought: all of this hair on fire "help" definitely helps bolster the helpers "I care" credentials, and by extension, their careers. 

Happy coincidence, that.