Since I've become a father, I've gotten ticked off about some things much more easily.

Like the fact far too many idiots still have legal custody of their children.

When you have the mindset that a child is a status accessory like a Lexus or an annual trip to Cozumel, bad things can happen. Take a look-see at the current condition of American society, for starters. When you're an eccentric reclusive multi-millionaire who sleeps in an oxygen chamber, has a chimp for a best friend, lives in a place called "Neverland" and spends millions to make molestation charges go away--well, worse things are in the offing.

Norm MacDonald said it best in a 1996 SNL News Update:

"And, yes, it is true, Michael Jackson is going to be a father. Already he has hired an entire staff of nannies, nurses and extra bodyguards, which hopefully will protect the child from Michael Jackson."

Apparently it's not working.