What he does is send me listings for cheap residential properties available in the Upper Peninsula. "Cheap" as in "For a song."
"On Everclear Karaoke Night."
"At the Harelip Academy."
The above picture shows the distance of this particular ultracheap property from Lake Superior, in the vicinity of Ontonagon, Michigan. The Lake is the blue between the trees at the end of the road.
The sea, the sea...