Feasibility studies and you.

Admiral Miklos Horthy was the dictator of Hungary from 1920 until was deposed in a pro-Nazi coup in 1944. He had served as a reasonably competent officer in the Hapsburg Empire's navy, and declared himself "Regent of the Kingdom of Hungary," despite not wanting to let the Hapsburg claimants back in. The Hungarian joke was that Hungary "was a kingdom without a king, ruled by an admiral without a fleet, in a country without a coastline."

For a moment, Wyoming was threatening to resurrect that joke in an American setting. The context was the study of a doomsday continuity-of-government bill--not a crazy idea in a world of fast-moving disease, weapons of mass destruction and EMP. However, an early draft of the bill provided for a feasibility study for Wyoming's acquisition of strike aircraft and...an aircraft carrier.

An aircraft carrier.

For...Wyoming.

Wyoming.

WYOMING.

I hate to bring this up, Utah, and I'm not trying to get all rumory, but I think the folks in Cheyenne might have some long-term designs on the Great Salt Lake. You might want to consider some way to maintain naval superiority starting right...now.

Fortunately, the attempt to float a Nimitz class carrier in the nation's Mountain West has been axed from the current reading.

Or...has it?

Watch your back, Utah.

Need a little help.

Yes, buried at work. No, I don't need your help for that. Unless, of course, you have mastered time travel.

But you might be able to help me with these items:

1. Does Bailey's Irish Cream spoil/skunk? It is unopened.

2. Do we need a new DVD player? It cut out in the middle of one of our kids' movies, displaying "Stop" and "HD7" (?--I think). It's not the disk--I put a new one in and it did the same thing. What's more, it was a bugger getting it to open.

3. Want to shovel my sidewalks? We got the biggest December snowfall in decades overnight and it's still continuing.

4. Is there some way to get CM to answer his e-mail that doesn't involve threats from ninjas/mafiosi/six foot talking rabbits?

5. Wish Louis a happy birthday--he was born at 1:58pm, one year ago today.

And finally, a quiz: parthogenesis--yea or nay?

Just remember: you only hurt the ones you love.

And I love you all....

When is Yoko Ono finally going to be arrested for her career of unrelenting cat torture? I'm convinced her oeuvre is the magic bullet for dealing with the coming zombie apocalypse.

Don't forget to visit the Shatner section(scroll down). His takes on Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds and Mr. Tamborine Man redefine pop music.

P.S.--this is a spillover from a rather virulent e-war between myself and Victor Morton, which started with his absolutely unnecessary and mistaken reference to Lorenzo Lamas, escalated to the lyrics of Achy Breaky Heart, escalated still further with George Burns' Beatles cover and has now seen the ICBMs unleashed.

You will envy the dead.

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
O, Dr. Zaius!

[Obligatory subcaptioning for the pop culture-impaired: click here.]

A trend we need to keep a close eye on: Chimpanzees are making weapons now. You know, before we're driven underground and start worshipping ICBMs.

Keep your hands where I can see them, you damn dirty ape.

Feel free to add your own Hestonisms in the box below.

Yes, alive and all that.

Just busy. If I have nothing to say, I try not to say it.

For Lent, we are doing the Full Trad, which has increased my appreciation of Sundays by several orders of magnitude. It could be worse--I could have tried to pull the Coffee Monkey off my back. Yeah, that would have lasted five, maybe six hours. Remember Londo's Keeper in the fifth season of Babylon 5? That's a good analogy to my relationship with java.

Dale's doing better, but he's suffering from periodic night panics, which are painful to behold. We think it has to do with his awaking from anasthesia and not finding us there. We eventually get him calmed down, but it's rough.

From the "This One Goes To Eleven" Department: That's quite the impressive bit of ballot box stuffing there, lads and lasses. I maxed out at 11 votes, in funniest Catholic blog. My response is simply to quote Wat from A Knight's Tale:

Betray us, and I will fong you, until your insides are out, your outsides are in, your entrails will become your extrails! I will w-rip!.... All the p!.... ungh! Pain! Lots of pain!

Good thing I don't get bitter, eh?

Still kicking.

Trip/D3/The Boy™ had his tonsilectomy/adenoidectomy today. A little woozy and pained early on, he has made a nice recovery so far. Unlimited popsicles and Kool-Aid have improved his mood. So has watching a 60 minute commercial for Hot Wheels titled The Ultimate Race. Lord, it's dreadful--dialogue that doesn't rise above "it's so crazy, it. just. might. work!" levels. Honest--the phrase "DESTROY ALL HUMANS!" is repeated over and over. But since there are wheeled vehicles going fast, it doesn't matter.

I see Ms. Marcotte has resigned from the Edwards campaign. Prediction: what was said about the Bourbon dynasty that returned to the French throne in 1815 will apply equally well to her: "They learned nothing, and forgot nothing." The secular left has more self-inflicted wounds and alienated would-be friends than any other movement in the U.S. And they wonder why they lose.

Oh, and a housekeeping note: This here electronic kiosk has been nominated in the following categories in the Catholic Blog Awards:

Smartest Catholic Blog
Funniest Catholic Blog
Best Individual Catholic Blog
Best Designed Catholic Blog
Best Overall Catholic Blog
Best Written Catholic Blog
Best Political/Social Commentary Catholic Blog

"Best Designed" is a head-scratcher, but wins in any category will keep voters off my fisk list for the rest of 2007. GOTV!

Ahem.

I have been reliably informed that this

did not arrive in the mail today.

Let's get cracking, people. It's not like I'm asking for naked pictures of Bea Arthur or something difficult like that.