From our "Death Rattle of Western Civilization" files.

The ever-sensible Charlotte Allen gets a podium at the L.A. Times to expose several senseless courses offered at institutions of "higher education" [sic].

Yes, Virginia, there is a Phallus Class:

No, it's not a biology course. It's a survey, offered by Oxy's [Occidental College] department of critical theory and social justice, of "feminist and queer takings-on of the phallus." Topics include "the relation between the phallus and the penis, the meaning of the phallus, phallologocentrism, the lesbian phallus, the Jewish phallus, the Latino phallus, and the relation of the phallus and fetishism."

The "lesbian phallus," eh? Presumably involves Duracells.

With that, I will sink into my painkiller-dulled haze and bid you a woozy adieu.