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Monday, January 20, 2003

Now He's Doing Snail Mail.

The latest from "Osama."

I doubt he's still alive. Now would be the perfect time to issue incontrovertible photographic proof that he isn't air pollution or otherwise reached room temperature: "I have survived the worst the Crusaders could throw at me and...[spends next 21 hours listing every Muslim grievance since 632 AD]." The propaganda value of that would be inestimable.

Instead, consider the downward spiral: From videotapes, to e-mail, to audiotapes, to mailed unsigned essays of Unabomber length.

What next? Communiques via Aldis lamp? Fatwas by semaphore?

He's dead. Or so mangled that pictures of him would be the opposite of inspiring. Either way, it's a good sign.

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