A compromise has been offered in the Kulturkampf. It convinces only those who want to be convinced, and has the delighted imprimatur of Planned Parenthood, demonstrating how much of a "compromise" it is.
I have a recommendation for the bishops. In 1974, the General Counsel of the Cleveland Browns was sent a litigation threat by a local attorney regarding the danger of paper airplanes being thrown during football games. The Browns' attorney sent the following response:
Attached is a letter we received on November 19, 1974. I feel that you should be aware that some asshole is signing your name to stupid letters.
Very truly yours,
CLEVELAND STADIUM CORP.
James N. Bailey
I confess it will need some tweaking, but it's a thought.
For those of you looking for something more highbrow, Michael Sean Winters has a perfectly excellent response. Fair warning--you will encounter the herdmind of Thinking [sic] Catholicism in the comments, so you might want to avoid that.