It's the NY Times, so I'm naturally inclined to be contradictory.
But this one is a no brainer--the ethicist is so wrong it's not even funny.
The questioner himself admits it was "a men's soccer league." Then that's it--end of story. No changing the rules in midstream. The team with the female player was violating the rules and should have accepted the full brunt of the consequences, not the team with the Muslims on it.
Sure--perhaps the Muslims may have been motivated by chauvanism. So what? That's not the point. The point is, the Muslim team was playing by the rules, and the "Dream Center" team was not.
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Be reasonably civil. Ire alloyed with reason is fine. But slagging the host gets you the banhammer.