"The resulting mix is similar to a pirate from Kentucky with a head cold..."
That would be Eric Weaver, describing the Michigan accent. Weaver is host and creator of the incomparable Michigan Accent Pronunciation Guide website.
As much as it pains me to admit, I think he's on to something.
The Michiganisms page is dead on, and even refers to my ancestral home by name (check out "Up North"). I'd add in the following, a verbal "period" frequently used in central and northern Michigan: "I know that." It's the equivalent of "at a minimum," or "for certain."
"He had 16-gauge ammo in stock last week, I know that."
"She's full of it--I was there at five o'clock, I know that."
What say you, Michiganders?