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Thursday, April 07, 2005

A useful coping method.

If you are like me (which, if you're really like me, would make you a 35 year old stocky orthodox Catholic male going through serious NHL withdrawal at the moment--but that's not important right now), you have a very low tolerance threshold for extended commentary by the usual suspects from the Catholic Dissentariat. However, I have developed a technique for surviving this situation with your spirits (and TV) intact. It's analogous to the old nervous speaker's trick of picturing your audience in its underwear.

What you do is this:

1. Clearly identify the dissenter as such (hint--do the initials "CNN" appear on your TV screen?);

2. Find the mute button on your remote control;

3. Completely activate the mute button (beware the "soft mute" setting); and

4. Pretend that the individual is lip-synching this song instead.

Try it--it really works!

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