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Wednesday, December 18, 2002

The Lesser-Known Explanations, Apologies, and Announcements of Trent Lott.

"I would like this opportunity to clarify a few things.

First, when I said that 'Nathan Bedford Forrest was the greatest man of the last millenium,' I was, of course, referring to (1) his record as a businessman and (2) his horseback riding skills. Or "skeeeeels," as my friend Maxine Waters reliably informs me.

Second, when I said that 'the South has arisen at last, and now is the hour of secession,' I simply meant that all Americans should 'secede' from the notions of high taxes and dependence on government to solve problems.

Third, when I said 'Three cheers for Jim Crow!', I was referring to James Ironcrow, the best darn blackjack dealer at the Silver Star Resort and Casino, over at the Choctaw reservation in Neshoba County.

I apologize if the above was unclear or offensive to anyone.

Finally, I am happy to announce that I will be singing a duet with Nelly on the next 'Singing Senators' album.

Nothing but love for you,

Trent Lott"

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