It's easy to find a place to sit in a United Church of Christ outlet on Sunday morning.
Jesus is just all right with abortion, says the chaplain for the culture of death.
The Rev. Mark Bigelow channels for a hypothetical Palestinian social worker named Josh and pumps ether into the souls of pro-choicers everywhere:
"'In your show you [Bill O'Reilly] said that Jesus was not pro-choice and you were sure he would be insulted were he to see this card,' referring to Planned Parenthood's "Choice on Earth" holiday greeting card.
'Even as a minister I am careful what I presume Jesus would do if he were alive today, but one thing I know from the Bible is that Jesus was not against women having a choice in continuing a pregnancy,' he continued.
'Jesus was for peace on earth, justice on earth, compassion on earth, mercy on earth, and choice on earth,' Bigelow added."
Oh, yeah. Odd, but I think I'm missing the addendum to the "Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God" passage. The one that apparently says "Feel free to kill them so they can get there faster."
Must be in one of those other manuscripts.
In other news, figures revealed that the UCC lost 15 percent of its members in the last decade. Not that they have a clue as to why, of course.
[Thanks to Relapsed Catholic for the first link.]