I missed the latest bit of Has-Been Aging Pop Tart Caliguloid--er--Titillation from MTV.

First of all, Greg Krehbiel is a prophet.

For my part, I was too busy trying to get my kids ready for bed. Plus, halftime shows almost invariably stink, being reheated lip-sync fests for the most part.

So, I didn't see Ms. Jackson partly disrobed by Mr. Timberlake. If you need to see the details, go on over to the Drudge Report, where you'll also learn CBS' "Shocked, Shocked!" protestations are less convincing than Captain Renault's.

Come on: What else could you expect from the thirteen year old boys at MTV? Restraint? I'm beginning to think "Beavis and Butthead" was a documentary about the network programming department.

Butthead: "Huh huh huh--then we can have her show her thingies."

Beavis: "Yeah, that would rule! It would rule!"

[Boy, I miss that show--which was and is far smarter than anything the network has done in years. Mike Judge is a comic genius.]

Still, as a parent with very young children, that wouldn't have been so bad. Nothing our breastfed kids haven't seen before.

Well, except for the pastie/tassel/whatever thing.

In fact, most of the commercial dreck (it wasn't all bad, not by a long shot) would have gone over their heads. I would have been a lot more irritated if our children were older. My main problem was the Van Helsing commercial trailer. Before we could manuever her away, our two year old daughter Madeleine saw a big chunk of it. Could you clueless jackasses be a little more violent and terrifying for the tattered remnants of the family hour, please? God willing, I won't have to peel my daughter off the ceiling at three in the morning, but since she was a little disturbed by Finding Nemo, I'm not confident.