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Friday, October 25, 2002

A Memo to Our Consistently Uncurious Media re: James E. Carter.

Have any of you asked Mr. Carter (former President, current Nobel Peace Prize winner, and Victim of Rodent Harassment) his views lately? I haven't seen any recent interviews of him. Perhaps he is indisposed, having been accosted by a flying marmoset, harangued by a rappelling armadillo or otherwise aggrieved by some other kind of rogue mammal. If so, then your discretion is understandable.

Speaking of rogue mammals--once he recovers, could you please ask him whether he has any cause to believe that his 1994 "Habitat for Stalinists" program was, in hindsight, perhaps, ill-considered? Any regrets on his part? Even one?

I mean, just because the leadership of North Korea generally looks and dresses like unbalanced homeless people does not mean they will react with the same gratitude once you build them something. Even something as impressive as a nuclear reactor. And could you ask him to explain why we built a rogue nation two nuclear reactors as part of an overall plan to keep said nation from obtaining, um...nuclear weapons? Isn't that a little like building a would-be arsonist an oil refinery as part of therapy intended to keep him from burning down his neighbor's house?

Finally, could you ask him one more question: What the hell were you thinking? Maybe a little redundant, but essential.

Many thanks.

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