Prescription: Several paper lunch bags and a grip.

Boston College's admin cancels a GLBT dance.

The student newspaper goes the full Cayce and predicts the school will soon be falling off the continental shelf.

Favorite part, in what is a target rich environment:

BC's rise in national prominence has been fast and significant, but the University can go much farther. As BC aspires to become one of the top universities in the country - and steps have certainly been made to do so - it has a choice to make. Regardless of varying views on homosexuality, every BC student wants their BC diploma to mean more 20 years down the line as BC becomes an even more respected university.

But will that be possible if a school that claims to espouse the values of a man who accepted prostitutes as his equals cannot give the same respect to gays, lesbians, and bisexuals?

I'd like to be the first to note that the BC writer is a first class hater: note that in the last line above the editorial ADVOCATES DISRESPECT TOWARD THE TRANSGENDERED! AREN'T THEY PEOPLE, TOO, BIGOT?! YET ANOTHER MINDLESS HATE-FILLED MINION OF THE HITLER YOUTH POPE IS REVEALED, SURPRISE, SURPRISE! SILENCE = DEATH, TRANSOPHOBE!

[Draws prolonged breath.]

Hypoxia--what a rush!

Anyway, the other funny part is the suggestion that the canceling of a dance is going to somehow render the BC parchment worthless.

[Scene: Bright-eyed BC Class of '06 grad, sitting down for a job interview with a Fortune 500 headhunter.]

HH: Well, Ms. Smith, I have to say I'm quite impressed--Summa Cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa, spending 20 hours per month tutoring the illiterate, and a starter for the varsity soccer team. That's a remarkable resume', and all the more so for having been accomplished at a demanding academic environment like Boston University. Kudos to...

BC06: Actually, Mr. Hunter, I attended Boston College, not Boston University.

HH: [Stunned silence, followed by a croaked whisper]: Boston... College? You mean the place that cancelled the GLBT Safe Zone Dance right before Festivus last year?

BC06: [Reluctantly]: ...Well, yes...

HH: Get out of my sight! And take your glorified JuCo transcript with you! Consider yourself lucky if you get any job that doesn't come with a paper hat!! Rest assured, though, it will be my personal mission in life to ensure that you and your Eagle ilk won't be so fortunate!!!

BC06: [Flees, weeping...]

[Link via CWN's Off The Record.]