How to irritate a child in one easy step.
Change the words of a book or song they know by heart.
Thusly:
(1) Last night, as SpongeBob came on Nickelodeon, I joined in with my dulcet tones:
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?/
[Me:] SpongeSquare BobPants!
[Maddie and Dale: No! It's SpongeBob SquarePants!]
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he/
[Me: SquareBob SpongePants!]
[The Kids: NO! IT'S SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!]
(2) Later, after baths, reading to them before bedtime:
Me: OK, what do you want me to read? It's Maddie's turn to choose.
Maddie: The Itsy Bitsy Spider!
Me: OK, fine. [Picking up book.] [Reading title:] The Achy Breaky Spider.
Maddie: NO! Itsy Bitsy Spider!
Me: The Artsy-Fartsy Spider?
Maddie: No, it's the Itsy Bitsy Spider, you geek!
Methinks the eldest has been listening to Heather very closely of late.
New digs for ponderings about Levantine Christianity.
The interior of Saint Paul Melkite Greek Catholic Church, Harissa, Lebanon. I have decided to set up a Substack exploring Eastern Christi...
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Be reasonably civil. Ire alloyed with reason is fine. But slagging the host gets you the banhammer.