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Friday, December 02, 2005

How to irritate a child in one easy step.

Change the words of a book or song they know by heart.

Thusly:

(1) Last night, as SpongeBob came on Nickelodeon, I joined in with my dulcet tones:

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?/
[Me:] SpongeSquare BobPants!
[Maddie and Dale: No! It's SpongeBob SquarePants!]

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he/
[Me: SquareBob SpongePants!]
[The Kids: NO! IT'S SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!]

(2) Later, after baths, reading to them before bedtime:

Me: OK, what do you want me to read? It's Maddie's turn to choose.
Maddie: The Itsy Bitsy Spider!
Me: OK, fine. [Picking up book.] [Reading title:] The Achy Breaky Spider.
Maddie: NO! Itsy Bitsy Spider!
Me: The Artsy-Fartsy Spider?
Maddie: No, it's the Itsy Bitsy Spider, you geek!

Methinks the eldest has been listening to Heather very closely of late.

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