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Friday, November 18, 2005

The first Michigan-Ohio State clash involved guns.

Though far less bloodletting than the annual tilt between the Wolverines and Buckeyes, it must be noted. A border dispute between the Territory of Michigan and the Future 250 Mile Wide Microwave/Radar Barrage led to the mobilization of militias on both sides seeking a fight.

Essentially, there was an eight-mile wide survey variance between Michigan and Ohio, a distance wide enough to encompass the entire city of Toledo. Who was right? Why, we were, of course:

The controversy heated up again when Michigan sought admission to the union on December 11, 1833. In spite of Michigan's presence in the Toledo Strip, Ohio Congressmen successfully lobbied to block Michigan's acceptance as a state until it agreed to Ohio's version of the boundary. Massachusetts Representative and former President, John Quincy Adams, supported Michigan saying, "Never in the course of my life have I known a controversy of which all the right so clearly on one side and all the power so overwhelmingly on the other."

Despite both sides calling out the troops, only one person was injured during the thankfully-inept military maneuvering:

Michigan's militia did end up arresting some Ohio officials, capturing nine surveyors, and firing a few shots over the heads of others as they ran out of the area. But only Ohio inflicted any casaulties, when a buckeye named Two Stickney stabbed a Michigan Sheriff during a tavern brawl.

The sheriff recovered quite nicely.

Thanks to Ohio whining and stinky politics, Ohio was awarded the territory, but Michigan got the better end of the deal:

Instead, it gained title to the western three-quarters of the Upper Peninsula as compensation; 9,000 square miles of the most valuable timber, iron, and copper country in America.

Not to mention stunningly beautiful country, to boot. And Toledo is still basically Michigan territory in its sympathies--as always, the most reliable indicators are the local sports broadcasts, which lead with coverage of the Wolverines, Wings, Pistons, Tigers and Lions, and not their Ohio counterparts.

Speaking of which: Go Blue!

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